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The Voice of my Supplications

7 November 2008

This was a blog posted on my myspace page some time ago… I’m reposting it here as it has to do with my spiritual journey and I want to hang on to it and share it with my new readers:

07 Oct 08 Tuesday

6:10 PM – The Voice of My Supplications
Current mood: awake

So, as you all know, I’m taking this one course about Religion in American Life and Thought.  It’s very interesting.  With all of these pulls and pushes I feel God is effecting in my life, I’ve recently decided that He must mean for me to study religion and help people spiritually.  (I’ve told you all of this already) – but the conclusion I came to today while writing an e-mail to our friend Phil is this:  All my life I wanted to be a doctor, to heal people physically.  I was heartbroken when I realized that that’s not going to happen for me with how sick I am – I’d never make it physically through the schooling and training that entails.  After a lot of thought about the experiences of my life and prayer and just talking to God, I came to this “a-ha!” moment.  An epiphany of sorts.

I believe God is leading me toward helping people with spiritual issues and directing them on healing their spirit.  This is something that just hit me like a ton of bricks!  I am thinking about all those years as a student trainer and all the time of insisting that I was going to be a healer.  Yes, in fact, I am.  But I’m not going to focus on healing bodies, rather I’m going to help heal souls!  I’m no longer just “considering” studying to be a chaplain or pastoral counselor, that’s exactly what I am going to be.

Anyway, I thought you people would like to hear about that.   I’ve contacted Lancaster Theological Seminary to get some information on graduate school and different classes and workshops they offer.  They have all kinds of free admission to see speakers throughout the year that come to campus.  I will definitely be getting more information about those!

This is going to be a long process, but I’m confident that I’m on the right path.  I’ve never felt the calm in my soul that I’ve experienced since I had this “epiphany.” It’s a good feeling.  I was so certain growing up that I would be a healer – but I thought I would be a medical healer – as it turns out, I will be a spirit healer.  If you pray, please include me in your prayers – that God will continue to open my eyes, heart and mind to what He means for me to do with my life.  Whatever his desires are for me, I want to be open enough to see that path and strong enough to follow it.

Ah, came across this passage in Anne Rice’s memoir, it’s from Psalm 130:

“Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD.
Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.
If thou, LORD, shouldst mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?
But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word I hope.
My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.”

So… that’s that.  Most of you’ve already read that.  This is mostly for newcomers and those wishing to know how I came to my decision.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. chrisb permalink
    10 November 2008 3:33 pm

    Hi, just a quick note, nothing to in-depth, but I must say that I like this weblog you have started. It is very nice to look at(the colors and such) and I will be following you on your journey, of course. I am excited for you!!! much love and hugs!

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