It's. Your. Choice.
It’s the season of thanks giving and I would like us all to remember how important it is to give thanks. Whether you’re terribly bothered by the slaughter of the indigenous people in this our magical land or not, that’s not ultimately what this season is about. All of the political correctness flopping about in schools these days has contributed to the ongoing rash of selfishness that plagues this world. No longer are you allowed to wish someone a happy Christmas or freely celebrate the spirit of Thanksgiving because it *may* offend someone who is not you. What must it be like to perpetually walk around looking for things to get upset about? How miserable a life must these people live when they cannot rise above the petty grievances of history to live in the here and now?
Oh, but I digress…
The true reason for today’s blog is that I am baffled, friends–truly befuddled. Absolutely and totally. The more time I spend trying to figure things out, the more confounded I become. For instance, FACT: People complain. This is nothing new, I know. People think of some problem, instance or situation of which they have absolutely no control or vested interest and then complain about it ad nauseam. Why? Well, I suppose, to some extent, we all need moments when we can vent our frustrations. This is understandable and I wholeheartedly support venting from time to time.
Here’s the thing: At some point, complaining serves no further purpose. Eventually, complaining is just complaining. When this happens, hang it up. Dial it back. Take it down a notch or ten. No, seriously, I’m telling you, it’s not doing you or anyone else any good. At that moment, it’s time to pack it in. Get it out of yourself. Write it down. Have a chat with God. Whatever you have to do, but get it out of you and move on.
Constant complaining and the persistent need to explain yourself or someone/thing else; these are the things that poison our otherwise whole, peaceful, and good souls. Sometimes there is not explanation. History is past and we can learn from it or dwell–our choice. This endless cycle of complaining and explaining will eat away at you until there’s nothing left but a shell. You will have spent so much time worrying about things that don’t matter that nothing will matter. You won’t even see the good where there is good.
And that’s my point here, people. Thanksgiving and the rest of the holidays–whatever you celebrate–are meant to be celebrated for the best possible reasons. Today people get together for good reasons regardless of what happened back in history. Are you slaughtering the Indigenous people? No. Okay then.
This Thursday, you can choose to sulk about the fate of those native to our land (of which I am a descendant) or you can get together with whomever you are sharing the day with and just. be. thankful. Ultimately, that’s your choice. You can whine and complain about the commercial aspects of Christmas or the stressful moments with your family–OR–You can be thankful that you have family.
You can worry over the winter solstice, quibble over the actual date of Jesus’s birth (or that you don’t believe in Jesus, and are, for some reason offended that others do–”It’s not fair”–boohoo), fight with people who wish you a Merry Christmas, or go about saying “Bah humbug.” You can do whatever you choose. But I think you might be happier if you can suck it up, get over yourself for five seconds, and try to think about the existing spirit of the season. Merry Christmas does not translate into: “If you don’t believe in Christ, YOU are a bad person” or “You HAVE to believe what I believe” any more than Happy Thanksgiving means “I’m happy that the Europeans came here and slaughtered the Indians.” I mean, honestly, people. “Land of the free” means that we are all free to celebrate however we see fit within the bounds of the law. If you don’t want to celebrate–well, that’s your loss. If you want to sit at home and pout or roll your eyes and bad mouth all the “stupid, ignorant Americans” who are celebrating, go right ahead. But don’t bug me about it. Stop complaining about it.
Your pervasive attitude is YOUR business and wholly under your control. In the same way that “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” (wasn’t that Eleanor Roosevelt?) so too, no one can make you feel depressed or angry without it either. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own feelings and actions.
So today, I suppose, my point is that once you get that negativity out of you (whether it’s about the holidays or some other issue) and turn it over to your diary, best friend, or God–once you’ve done that, it would be wise to do as Kate Hepburn once advised:
Never complain, never explain.
That’s all for now. ASAP
As I’ve stated on numerous occasions, this is not a political blog. It’s mostly about my spiritual development (and occasionally about a show I’m enamored with that may get canceled). But, I wanted to share this with some of you. I opened my e-mail after finishing up my homework for the week to find a message from Senator Arlen Specter (D–Turncoat–, PA) . Obviously, I was disgusted with what followed:
On Sat, Nov 21, 2009 at 10:08 PM, Senator Arlen Specter <arlen.specter@specter.enews.senate.gov> wrote:
Dear Friends,
The Congress is continuing its work to try to get healthcare reform legislation, and I believe the prospects are reasonably good that we will produce a bill. I hope that the bill will have the public option - and a robust public option. We will have a cloture vote tonight and I believe that we should be able to get 60 Senators at least to agree to start the debate.
It would be my hope that my colleagues would not draw lines in the sand or stay in inflexible positions. We need to move ahead, and doing nothing is not an option. The problems of so many millions of Americans uninsured and the problems of the rising healthcare costs makes it imperative that action be taken.
I think that the bill which has been proposed is a very, very good start. It is obviously subject to amendments and some modification. But the total cost has come in at about $850 billion over 10 years and is projected to save about $130 billion to reduce the deficit. In the second decade it is projected to save even more, up to as much as $650 billion. President Obama has committed not to sign a healthcare bill which adds to the deficit, and I’m committed not to vote for a healthcare bill that adds to the deficit.
It is my hope that the bill will emerge with very strong provisions on preventative care. That includes annual examinations without additional costs and encouraging people to have the annual exams to catch many problems at their early stages, like heart disease or ailments, before they develop into debilitating and expensive chronic diseases. I disagree with the recent recommendations to cut back on mammogram screenings or pap smears. I think that early detection is vital and well worth the cost. I can tell you from my personal experience: an MRI detected a brain tumor the size of a golf ball between my skull and my brain back in 1993. It could have been a very, very serious matter had that early detection not occurred.Healthcare reform is vital and we’re determined to get a good bill.
Sincerely,
Arlen Specter
Here is my response:
Senator Specter,
If you sincerely believe any of the misrepresentations coming from the White House or the Democratically controlled congress and vote for a bill that will increase the deficit, raise taxes on hard working Americans, fund abortion, and mandate insurance for every American; you have lost both my vote and respect. This entire e-mail is just one Democratic talking point after another and I am sincerely disappointed that you will continue to believe and/or support this. A public option will eliminate our options, Senator. You are not only bankrupting my generation, but that of my children with support for or passage of this bill.
I am not in favor of “doing nothing” and there’s not a good American out there who is suggesting that. Your strawman arguments do not hold. Here’s a thought: how about taking it one step at a time? Has anyone considered implementing changes to the current Medicare and Medicaid system, passing some sort of tort reform, and allowing consumers the ability to purchase insurance across state lines? These would all help, Senator. Do not vote for a bill just because “something is better than nothing.” That is not what your constituents pay you to do. And yes, Senator, we employ you.
In a time when our country is fighting two wars, struggling with economic recession, facing terror attacks, and deeply divided on this health care bill, now is not the time to implement radical and sweeping spending bills is not helpful. This country was build on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Please show me where in the Constitution or Bill of Rights that Health Insurance is listed as a right. Show me that, and I’ll gladly hear you out. Until that time and until such a time when you consider the actual opinions of your constituents, you can keep your propagandist e-mails to yourself. They’re not needed here.
Sincerely,
Jessica M. Townsley
Honestly. How stupid does this guy think I am?
As most of you have heard via me (on FB, Twitter, myspace), other fans, or some other website: my beloved Dollhouse has been canceled. Yes, canceled.
FOX, in its infinite “wisdom” (and I use sarcastic quote marks) has chosen to pull the plug after airing the complete original 13 episode order for the current season. Now, I’m going to eventually dwell on the good, here, but I must admit that yesterday, I was having a hard time finding it. Even today, my mind is reeling.
Here’s how it happened for me yesterday:
I popped onto Whedonesque sometime in the afternoon (around 3ish, maybe?) after one of the regular’s posted the news from Hollywood reporter. Immediately, I ran over to Twitter to see what the buzz was–the web was flying with speculation: Is this true? Could it be just a baseless rumor? Would FOX really pull the plug BEFORE even trying to air the Double Dollhouse episodes in December? Have all of our fantastic fan efforts up to this point been for naught? Can Whedon fans take any more heartache stemming from FOX’s sudden but inevitable betrayal?
It wasn’t long before Mo Tancharoen (writer for the show, brilliant singer, little known actress, and wife of Jed Whedon) confirmed it on her twitter. Fans across the board were crushed. It felt sudden, and yet, somehow not so sudden. Yes, we’d been expecting it since sometime during season 1. When it got picked up for a second season we were all shocked, but thankful. Somehow, I think we all wanted to believe that FOX had grown a heart (kinda like the Grinch!), but I don’t think any of us were ever completely trusting. When the announcement came that they weren’t even airing Dollhouse for November sweeps, I think we all sought so hard to find the silver lining… to see the good (Double Dollhouse December!, back to back, to back!), but there was that nagging suspicion. That dark cloud looming on the horizon. Our party was coming to an end… we knew it, they knew it… yet we tried the “Don’t Stop Believing” approach and continued our fan efforts.
So over the course of yesterday afternoon, slowly, other Dollhouse cast and crew weighed in. Fans received beautiful words of thanks from the likes of the people who play Sierra, Topher, Mellie/November/Madeline, and then this morning: a note from Echo, herself (our “star” Eliza Dushku). Even Joss weighed in yesterday on Whedonesque including this tidbit:
I don’t have a lot to say. I’m extremely proud of the people I’ve worked with: my star, my staff, my cast, my crew. I feel the show is getting better pretty much every week, and I think you’ll agree in the coming months. I’m grateful that we got to put it on, and then come back and put it on again.
Yesterday, I hardly knew what to do with myself. I had a paper due by midnight (thankfully, it was only a first draft being submitted for peer review… my peers will be doing a lot of reviewing, let me tell ya’) and all I could do was sulk, keep up with anything new coming from my favorite Dollhouse peeps, and check in on Whedonesque. It was even difficult for me to really enjoy Glee last night, which never happens, typically, I love that show.
Some people will not understand my near despondence at the news of a mere TV show cancellation. Well, friends, this is not the first time that I’ve endured this let down, particularly as a Whedonverse fan. First to really hit me was Buffy when, part way through season 7, UPN (was it?) announced this would be our last season. That was my favorite show. EVER. Seriously, even though Joss and co. gave us a fantastic ending and a season 8 comic, it still stings. It still breaks my heart.
Then WB pulled the plug on Angel. We got a stellar season 5, sure, but… again, heart-ache. Before either one of these two were canceled, FOX had yanked Firefly after only airing a few episodes OUT OF ORDER. Yeah, genius. I hadn’t gotten into Firefly in enough time to be directly and immediately affected by THAT cancellation, but when I finally got into it on DVD and with Serenity in theaters, I was doubly-hurt. Doubly because, I felt I had failed Joss by not tuning in sooner. I directly contributed to it’s cancellation via NOT TUNING IN. I vowed never to make the same mistake again.
Further kicks to the gut occurred with Wonderfalls, and, more recently, Pushing Daisies. My broken heart still has yet to heal over the cancellation of the much loved Veronica Mars (Oh, I can hardly bear to mention that one). Heck, I was even seriously sad about the cancellation of Tru Calling, because I felt Eliza and gang were just beginning to hit their stride with that one and then: oh, it’s canceled a few episodes into the 2nd season.
Yep. My gut is irreparably damaged. In fact, there may be a permanent indent there from all these kicks (is that why my stomach is now literally paralyzed? … hmmm, maybe it’s not the lupus after all. New theory!).
Now, I mentioned that there was *some* good here. You have to really want to see it, but here’s what I’m choosing to look at from this point forward:
- FOX has, by all accounts, agreed to air the final 9 episodes, bringing the series total to 26 over two seasons. Joss, Dichen, Eliza, Fran, Miracle, and Mo have all confirmed this. There’s no reason to doubt them (but trust in FOX is definitely on the downswing!),
- Those final 9 episodes are a full two-thirds (2/3) of the season, so this is definitely something to look forward to, we’re not getting the axe RIGHT NOW, while the story is still being told. Joss will give us some closure and some excellent episodes to close things out.
- Given the cancellation, I am hopeful that FOX will want to include on the DVD boxset as much incentive as possible for people to purchase it so they can make more $$$$. This could mean crazy-making extras that will blow us away, and finally:
- Joss has introduced us to SO very much amazing new talent (hello, again, Enver!) and I believe these people have a long, healthy, promising future in the ‘biz.
Some people (particularly those who never “loved” Dollhouse) are also saying, “Well, at least this gives Joss time to work on some really good projects.” Yes, true. But also true: Joss is perfectly capable of multi-tasking and I don’t think that’s adequate reason to be “thankful” for FOX’s business decision that’s all about the all mighty dollar and Dollhouse’s apparent “inability to bring in House-like ratings (to which, I might add, FOX directly contributed BY INTENTIONALLY REFUSING TO PROMOTE THE SHOW over the last TWO seasons!!). Not that I’m bitter or anything. I guess what really bothers me is that they’re the ones with ALL the power and they seemed not to have attempted ANY efforts to save a show diving in the ratings. Try rerunning on another night? What could it hurt? Oh, well, I suppose it’s too late now. Must move on.
Given the above 4 points… I’m choosing to do as Buffy’s Faith (coincidentally played by our “star” Eliza Dushku) once said and “Find the fun…” I’ll still enjoy the final 9 episodes and hope to get amazing extras on the DVD. I’ll still hope my hubby takes the hint and gets me some Dollhouse gear from this website here, for Christmas and/or my birthday.
In the end it’s not that the cancellation of Whedonverse shows means we will never see our stars or Joss’s work again (see How I Met Your Mother, Castle, ‘V‘, and many more as proof positive of that!), but it does mean we have to wait a little longer for more brilliance, we are heartbroken (again!), and that any semblance of trust we had left in FOX Broadcasting is gone.
For now, people, I advise that we tune in in the final 9 episodes of Dollhouse, look forward to the Dr. Horrible story continuing, and remember that Cabin in the Woods is just around the corner.
And… a little more Enver couldn’t hurt:
Save for one mention last week, I haven’t yet blogged about Dollhouse. Not seriously. Sure, I’m vocal about it on my twitter (all the time) and I’ve updated my Facebook status to direct people there on many an occasion.
The problem with blogging about a brilliant, under-appreciated, “smartest show you’re not watching,” sci-fi show like Dollhouse is that I didn’t feel I could add anything to the commentary that isn’t already being said on numerous sites across the web. I’m book smart in many ways (as my high marks at school can attest to), but I’m not all that comfortable with my ability to progress the pop-culture conversation. People far more brilliant than I are talking about this show and… well, they’re the ones you ought to be reading. I mean, yeah, you can analyze themes till the Dolls come home, which (to me) is half the fun of watching, but you don’t HAVE to. The show, if you watch, really does speak for itself.
Then I realized: you have to watch for it to speak to you! So here I am, blogging about Dollhouse.
I could tell you why I love it. I might give you an idea about why I watch. Why I think YOU should watch. But I can’t say it any better than this website does.
I could rant on and on about the evils of the Rossum corporation. I could delve into the deeply troubling/thought-provoking moral, ethical, legal, and spiritual issues posed by the show.
I could rave about the incredible new talent Joss Whedon has discovered. I could go on and on about how gorgeous and talented I think Enver Gjokaj is (no really, have you seen this guy?). I could enthusiastically praise the acting chops of Olivia Williams, Dichen Lachman, and Fran Kranz. I could talk about how, if I were a doll with a handler, I’d want Harry Lennix to be mine. I might even gush over Tahmoh Penikett’s serious muscles and how, thanks to Joss, we get to see more of our favorite Helo from BSG. I might even mention that “star” Eliza Dushku’s range has improved considerably with this show (“star” is in quotes because, despite what the title sequence would have you believe, it’s more of an ensemble show).
But I won’t do any of that.
Instead I’ll simply mention that all of the season 2 episodes are available for viewing FREE at hulu.com.
As an alternative, I’ll let you know that you can download the episodes on Amazon or iTunes.
Rather than go on and on (and on), I’ll just mention that Dollhouse returns on December 4, 2009 with back to back episodes on FOX at 8 and 9 pm–oh, and Summer Glau joins the cast that week.
That’s all I’ll do. Really.
You see, how will you know what you’re missing if you never give it a chance? How will the execs at FOX ever understand how beloved these characters are unless you watch?
I’m going to mention the show often in the coming weeks. I ought to be doing schoolwork right now, but I’m obliged to share and spread my love of Dollhouse to the masses (or three people) who actually read this blog. Sure, I’m a Whedon fan-girl from the early days of Buffy, but I don’t blindly follow Joss. This show is incredible and challenging, fun and engaging. Give it a shot. You will not be disappointed.
Ok, that’s all I have.
Oh, who am I kidding? One more thing: Enver Gjokaj is seriously talented and… have I mentioned he’s gorgeous? ‘Cause he is:
If you already watch Dollhouse and want to know what you can do to help get word out about the show… check out activatedollhouse. Also, if you haven’t seen this and this… pretty much awesome!
Discernment
I know what you’re thinking. Another blog from Jessica… so soon? Is she giving up on finite math? Ignoring Health Psych? Completely abandoning speech?
Not exactly, but I couldn’t get started on that today without remarking on something I forgot to mention in yesterday’s piece of writing brilliance (perhaps I’m overstating that, but it’s good for the ol’ ego).
A few weeks ago, I went to DISCOVER Day at LTS. Suffice to say, that day pretty much sealed my opinion of LTS as the place for me to go to seminary. The day was informative, but much of what I heard in the first few hours, I’d heard on my last visit there. Later, though, I attended a sample class “Theology, What is it Good For” and got a glimpse of the teaching style there.
No, it’s not what I’m used to. Yes, it made me uncomfortable in some respects–beyond that, however, IT. WAS. AWESOME. After a brief lecture on the definition of theology and what it isn’t, we were presented with a real world problem to approach theologically. I won’t get into the ins and outs of that, but we were broken into groups and encouraged to “engage the conversation.” My group of 5 definitely did that. It was great fun, even though I was pretty quiet at first. I warmed up to my group members rather quickly and shared my thoughts on the issue at hand. We all came to pretty much the same conclusion in our discussion, but I held back on ONE other thought I had.
Wish I hadn’t, because when we rejoined the class for discussion, this was an approach that the professor presented toward the end. Good grief! In my reluctance to share an approach that I thought might be too far “outside the box,” I missed an opportunity!
Lesson learned. I’m thankful for that. It makes me that much more certain that, when I do share my thoughts whether they be in or outside of the box, I will not be discouraged at LTS. It also reminds me: Hello, Jessica! Speak up!
After the class, we had lunch with faculty. I was told this is a common occurrence. There is no “faculty lounge” at this seminary. The students and professors often eat together and engage in discussion even during meals. After lunch, we sat down with the Dean of the seminary for a Q&A. I’m not an “on the fly” question poser. Not my forte. I’m usually trying to take things in and think about what the info with which I’m being presented. It’s just who I am, who I’ve always been. My questions come later than most, but they certainly come. Often, I try to find answers on my own, too.
After sitting with the Dean, we met with current students for another Q&A. While waiting for everyone to take their seats, I spoke to one guy who was a 3rd year and who wanted to find out more about me. I think I asked him a few questions and mostly listened to his experience there. Turned out that he had moved from somewhere out west where he lived with his family to attend LTS. He was going to be a minister. Of course, my journey seems to be leading me elsewhere, but it was interesting to hear how he balanced everything while at seminary. He said it was a challenge with his young children, but during that time his wife had been a big help.
Once everyone arrived and took their spots, we engaged in the Q&A. I didn’t have any questions (again) but listened to other prospective students ask theirs and learned a lot about seminary life. It was rather informative and fun.
We concluded our day with worship at the chapel. The chapel there is beautiful and combines many different Christian-based religions under one roof. Our service was rather traditional, but it was still very different from The Bridge UMC church (my church). We sang hymns, prayed, shared Holy Communion. All of the current students who had sat with us earlier also participated in running the service. I enjoyed it immensely.
I had planned on writing more about this visit, especially to include more personal reflection. Unfortunately, that’s all I have time for at the moment. But that does about sum up my DISCOVER Day Adventures. It was enlightening, informative and fun. I’ll still need to visit another seminary just as a basis of comparison, but LTS feels like “home.” I felt welcome and appropriately “engaged in the conversation.”
I’m ready to start NOW… unfortunately I have another 2 semesters (after this one) before I can start. I was just discussing with Ted, my pastor, how I felt like I wanted to start RIGHT NOW, I am READY to go. He said, “Isn’t it amazing how that happens when you’ve gotten ‘the call’ from God?” Yes, indeed it is.
ASAP, my friends.
Live crabs look kinda devilish, yes?
The devil that you know is better than the one you don’t.
- “Lonely Ghosts” by O + S (music from Dollhouse)
What’s the what blog readers? It’s been way too long since I updated, yes? Sorry about that.
My semester has been busy and almost overwhelming, but I’m doing well and things seem to be coming together as I approach the final weeks (semester ends December 11). I’m sure you’ve all been busy, as well. And what, with the holidays fast approaching, I’m sure everyone’s lives are chock full of healthy anticipation and not an ounce of stress, right? It is, after all, “The most wonderful time of the year!” Okay, so some of that was sarcastic, I know many people get more stressed about the holiday season and, though they intuitively understand that the point is merriment and fun, family and joy, love and… well, they still get sadly overwhelmed with present buying and worrying about family strife.
For my part, I’m not worrying about any of that this year. I refuse to. Thanksgiving, my birthday, and Christmas are supposed to be fun, people! It’s meant to be a time to be thankful for your family, friends and many blessings in your life. And EVERYONE can find something to feel blessed about–particularly since if you live in America–for instance: do you have life? Are you healthy (or, in my case, do you have some days where you are in less pain)? Do you have family? Any family? Friends? Even one that you like and bond with? Do you have a roof over your head? Food to eat? Water to drink? A TV? Buffy DVDs? 
Faith in The Almighty? A computer from which to read this blog? Come on now, people, there’s something you can feel thankful for. I just know it.
I hadn’t meant for this blog to delve into any of this and I digress…
The last month has seen some difficult times for me:
- I have injured my knee pretty painfully and am waiting on MRI results. Thankfully, I can still walk (with the help of my trusty cane) and participate in most of my normal activities. Working out has been out of the question, though, which is annoying.
- I’m only holding between a B+ and A- in Finite math, which just doesn’t thrill me–if you know me, you know how conscientious (some say neurotic or crazy) I am about my grades and succeeding. This is the first semester I’ve taken on 5 classes… ever… and it’s been trying. But I’m getting by.
- The change in weather has brought about some spectacular kickings of my ass (by my illnesses). It’s nothing I’ve not been through in the past 14 years, but it’s just one more thing to worry about, y’know?
…my family:
- Aaron’s granddad passed away. It was an emotional time for the family. Not something I want to delve into here, too much, but suffice to say that it was difficult and–thankfully–he’s at peace now.
…and my entertainment world:
- My favorite show on the airwaves right now, Dollhouse, appears to be in murky water. Struggling in the ratings for various reasons, FOX decided to let it “take some time off” in November. It returns on December 4th for “Double Dollhouse Fridays” for three weeks. It has NOT been canceled. We’re thankful to be guaranteed the 13 episode order, and, though I’m holding out hope for a back 9, it’s not looking terribly shiny and happy. I’m telling you people, it’s a great show if you give it a chance. Joss Whedon and gang are doing some excellent work and the most recent episode was one of the finest, most emotionally charged hours of television I’ve seen in quite a while.
As I do in most times of trouble, tumult, and turmoil: I have revisited my Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs. I’m always inspired by this show (yes, even in season 6, when there’s so much darkness and pain, you can still find a “silver lining”). I’m in the midst of season 7, but have been turning to my Watcher’s Guides from various seasons, too. As always, I have found quoting its lines and reminding myself of the timeless wisdom in Whedon’s works to be particularly cathartic.
In fact, if you’re wondering why I chose that quote to begin the blog today, it’s because, in addition to watching Whedon’s shows, I’ve been listening to music from the shows and that line from O + S’s “Lonely Ghosts” is a reflection of where my head has been recently. Let me explain.
You’ve heard the saying, “The Devil that you know…” and it’s so very true. It’s sometimes easier to battle demons you are familiar with than ones from which you have no idea what direction they are coming. In the Whedonverse, these are called Frenemies (and so much of popular culture these days). I use that word to describe people, places, and things with which I am familiar but which still bring me some measure of grief. “The devil that you know…” is definitely better than one that you do not know, people. Trust me on this. I know my demons well at this point in my life (hello SLE, FMS, anxiety, and many more…), and am able to deal accordingly. Unknowns are less easy to deal with.
Along with that, I’m suddenly reminded of wisdom from my doctor:
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it.
And so it goes. Control what you can and let the rest fall where it may. Additionally, you cannot control what someone else thinks or does, but you can control how you respond to it. Am I right? Yes.
I’m sure there are any number of other, much more pithy, remarks I could make about this topic. But I’m going to leave it at that and go about my day.
To my friends requesting a blog from me (you know who you are 
), I hope this will suffice. When the semester is over, I’ll try to post something every day. Till then (or until I get a free minute during Thanksgiving week), ASAP.
What’s that they say?
It’s always darkest before the dawn.
Hmm. Well, in that case, dawn must surely be just around the corner because it’s pitch black, here! I can’t see an inch in front of me.
In the event that you haven’t been keeping up with my Twitter feed (of which, I’ve been meaning to ask: Why haven’t you?), things have gotten extremely hairy here in Townsleyland. What was supposed to be a fun, relaxing four day mini-break with my husband from Thursday-Sunday turned into something of a nightmare. Aaron’s referring to it as the [mini]vacation from hell.
He’s not wrong.
To understand the whole situation, you have to know a few things about my husband. He works long, arduous hours at a thankless job; has a chronically ill wife who is a full-time student; and when he’s not tending to me or working, he spends his time on his computer–mostly playing an MMO. As goofy and funny as he sometimes is (I can always count on him to make me laugh), he’s pretty intense and introspective. It’s just the nature of the man I married. He’s not into sports (though he’ll watch if everyone else is), generally dislikes television (except for Dexter, True Blood, and a select few other shows), and hates that reading books takes up so much time. Movies might be the only thing he loves in the entertainment world (outside of gaming), but his standards are such that so few films impress him. Some guys have their cars or their sports teams, Aaron has his computer. In other words, the thing you should take away from this is: Aaron loves his computer like it was fifth appendage. It’s what he does. It’s the only “frivolous” thing he asks to have that’s just his in the whole wide world. And it’s the only thing he ever spends any money on.
Now, back to the story. Wednesday night rolls around and Aaron’s looking forward to having four days off. We had planned on heading south to visit my grandparents early Thursday morning (and coming home Friday afternoon), so Wednesday night was his time to play WoW and forget about the countless 12-hour work days of the last month. He gets home, kisses me “hello,” and then settles in with his computer.
Serious issue #1: Oh man! It won’t turn on. He opens it up, pokes around, tries again. Nothing. Tries other fixes, makes some calls, utters a few obscenities: NOTHING. Nothing works. His computer (which is actually MY old computer that he built for me), has finally bit the dust. After putting band aids on all the little problems from the last year, it’s kaput. Finished. Terminated. In gaming terms: It’s been “pwned.”
So, of course, he’s upset. Bummed. Let down. Disappointed. And more than a little lost. We’d been putting off buying a new computer for him for years now, but we had to bite the bullet, take the cash hit, and order a new one. We find a great deal, three-year warranty, pre-built (usually he builds his own PCs) PC but it won’t be here until mid-week and his vacation ends on Sunday. How depressing for him–and for me, I had a ton of school work that I’d be working on and couldn’t even take advantage of a WoW-less vacation beyond the 2 days we’d be visiting my grandparents.
If that was the only bad thing to happen on his vacation, it would have been bad enough. We thought it started rough, but by Friday morning, things were looking up. Our trip was enjoyable. We had a lot of fun, got rid of some stress, and genuinely didn’t want to return to “reality” in PA. Alas, we didn’t have a choice.
Since he had no PC and I’d have my head in the books all weekend, he planned to call some good friends for a some Wii gaming.
But nothing’s ever that easy, is it?
Serious issue #2: we returned home Friday to some devastating news. Aaron’s grandfather was entering Hospice that night. He doesn’t have much time. Aaron’s world is now completely upside down. We go up to see his sweet grandfather on Saturday and spend a few hours with the family (of which I have only met Aaron’s mom, Dad and grandfather–it was awkward, but everyone was nice). It was extremely difficult for Aaron, I think he was having flashbacks of seeing his grandma there years ago. Aaron supremely hates Hospice and, though not an easy place for anyone to have to visit, he’s taking it exceptionally hard. When we get home that night, I dive back into my school work, finish up some stuff, and then we go to bed, hoping tomorrow will be a better day. It had to be, right?
Wrong.
Serious issue #3: On his way home from a day of Wii Rockband with our friends (I couldn’t go, too much school work), in the dark of night, driving down a long stretch of road, a deer runs out in front of Aaron, slams into his hood, flips up and over the car and completely wrecks it. Thank God he’s okay. The airbag didn’t go off. Shocked and shaken, he manages to get home in one piece (as he was only a few miles from the house) and we assess the damage. It’s smoking, hissing, and the front end is all bent to hell. It’s undriveable at this point.
I’m surprised he got it home, actually, because the hood is buckled under and, it seems to me, blocking any reasonable view of the road ahead. But, praise God, he is uninjured, safe, and we have kick-ass insurance. It’s all covered, but now we’re down to one car. I don’t know if it’s totaled, we’ll have to wait till the estimate to find out.
(now, please excuse me while I address my Lord and Savior for a moment):
So–um–is that enough, then, God? Are You planning on throwing any more wrenches into our already complicated lives? My parents are going away all next week and we’re watching the animals, so–ehem–You are going to watch out for us all, right? Just wondering. Not that we have any say in the matter, but should You, in Your Infinite Wisdom decide to throw anything else our way, could You give us some warning next time? I’d really appreciate it, Jesus. After all, You are the Man, Man. Thanks, –Jessica
If you’ll notice, all of these terrible things have happened to Aaron and not directly to me. It’s his computer, his grandfather, and his car that only he was in. But, when you are married, as many of you know, two really do become one. Everything good that happens to one happens to both–that goes double for the bad things. I’ve been blessed to share in the great joys that have happened in his life in the past 5 years (he met and married the love of his life, what a lucky guy!), and I’ve also suffered through the bad. You know what they say–you know all the old cliches and platitudes:
From from adversity comes strength.
When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
It’s always darkest before the dawn.
Every path has its puddle.
Turn that frown upside down.
Whew. Cliche overload. I know we have to move forward. I keep reminding myself of how often bad things happen in threes. Is that enough, then? Are those the three and are we now due for some good things? We have to be, right? And if so, how do good things happen, then? In twos, threes? WHAT? What’s next, God?
I promised not to trivialize the contents of this blog and to try not to waste your time. It’s why you’ve not heard from me since the semester began. But I suppose I just had to get this crap off my chest–out of me and into the ether–so that I can move forward and get on to the business of living.
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In other news: I told you all there’d be an Inglourious Basterds review coming. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the time to write one (whose idea was it for me to take 5 ridiculously difficult courses this semester, anyway?). In short, I give it an A. A few words that someone on Twitter used to describe his reaction went something like this: “If only it were so.” Indeed. It may have been my favorite Tarentino film to date. Supremely enjoyable. When it’s released on DVD, I’ll review it further.
Till next time, kids, keep moving forward. ASAP.
A few important notes about Pressing Toward the Goal:
People, just so you know, should you see even fewer posts than usual over the next several months… there’s a good reason why. I’m carrying a heavy course load. It’s the most I’ve attempted at one time and–given the challenges of certain autoimmune diseases that I battle daily–it’s a big deal. Liberal arts at a university such as PSU can be a GIGANTIC time-suck that I’m nonetheless enduring because I’d like to graduate with my BA before I’m 30 and get on to the “business” of being a seminarian and becoming a chaplain. Add to that the joys and stresses of being a good wife, daughter, friend and helping out at church with running the power point and accompanying the pastor on chaplaincy visits you might say I’ve got a full load. In the spring I’ll (hopefully) be continuing as a lax coach if all goes according to plan, so that is another added (but fantastic) venture. Busy doesn’t begin to cover it. Doctors say, “keep your stress level low” and “don’t overdo it,” but come on, it’s hard to really be living life and not overdo it, isn’t it?
So why haven’t I been posting to this blog as much as I did, say, on my former myspace blog? I’ve made it a point here, people, not to waste your time. If I write something it’s either a) pertinent to my life and thereby important enough to share with my readers or b) something I think you, dear readers, would get something from. So when I post a seemingly silly review of a movie or put up a video clip, it’s because I really do think you’d enjoy it. I’m trying to not only share insights from my spiritual and life journey, but also to get out the word about things that are happening in the world (in any part or facet of it) that I find interesting and that I hope you will as well. Should my readership ever expand beyond my close friends and family, I want for people to want to read what I write here. Additionally, should I ever publish the book I’m hoping to someday write, I’d like not to have to sift through endless “this-is-what-I-did-today” posts. Just seems rather pointless. If you really want to know, you can check the twitter feed to the right on the screen here ————————————–>
On the political front, well, if you are reading this, you’re likely know where I stand personally. But you’ll have noticed that, for the most part, I’ve steered clear from being partisan here. The main reason is that as a chaplain I won’t want to push people away by being overtly political and I’m trying to temper the tone of my posts and be more welcoming. This isn’t a political blog nor do I intend it to be. Friends and family know on which side I sit on the ideological fence, and they’re the only people who need to. (But, if you follow the twitter feed on the right, you’ll likely see a thing or two that will give you a clue ——————————->)
That’s all from me for the moment. I’ll keep everyone posted as new happenings… happen. At the moment I’ve got my head buried in the books and will post when and if I have something interesting to share with you. Oh, but do keep a look out for an Inglorious Basterds review and some thoughts on what type of chaplain I might end up becoming (as both are forthcoming, kids!)
I’ll leave you with a nice thought or two from Miracle Laurie (of Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse):
[Jessica Townsley] is loving the present & looking forward to the future. Life is good. Life is love. Life is what you make it. Every day.
Till then: ASAP
In the spirit of keeping up with my favorite pop-culture phenoms, I wanted to share this video to promote The Guild (Felicia Day’s fantastically written, outrageously funny, and insanely addicting web series). If you play MMO’s (an acronym I just learned recently) like WOW or have a significant someone in your life who does (my husband loves his computer games), you will absolutely love this series and this video will have you rolling on the floor overcome with uproarious laughter. And even if MMO’s aren’t your thing, if you’ve spent any time on the internet, you’ll still find it hilarious. Friends, you don’t want to miss this. Believe me.
Felicia Day, if you didn’t already know, played lovable potential slayer Vi in Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s season seven. She has since starred along side Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion in (the web musical I can’t praise highly enough) Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog and the superb unaired 13th episode of Dollhouse “Epitaph One.” The group she’s put together for The Guild is wonderful and the two seasons of webisodes are thoroughly enjoyable and outstandingly well-written (new season begins soon!). I cannot give high enough praise for the talent. Here’s the video. Do yourself a favor, though, and download it at iTunes. It’s a steal at $1.49 and helps support the webseries which is limited enough on budget as it is!
Enjoy! Then go download. It’s worth it, believe me!
Tom and Summer
I love a good indie film. Why? Oh–it’s simple. They seem always to be made by people who really want to make something great and artful without concern given to how much money either they will make, or the film itself will net at the box office. When one thinks of summer movies, one almost always thinks of the Transformers and Spiderman’s of this, our magical movie world. But those tend to disappoint–well–me, at least. That’s why I’m so thankful to find a film like Away We Go or (500) Days of Summer. Perhaps I shouldn’t lump the two in together in one sentence because they have absolutely nothing to do with one another, but truly, they have a similar indie-feel and really remind me of exactly WHY I love the movies. This “review” (and I use the term loosely!) is pertaining to the later.
The movie opens up with the rather ominous disclaimer that “this is not a love story.” That might seem pretentious in another picture or it might seem a total lie, in the case of (500) Days, it’s just a method of reminding us not to look at this as just another sappy, “boy meets girl, they fall in love” romantic comedy. And they’re right, it’s not a love story. Not between the two main characters Tom and Summer (Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel). But it is a story about love. We see their relationship played back as Tom might look back on it. We get to see both the happy moments from the “before” tempered with crushing “after” scenes. And that’s largely how it is, isn’t it? When we turn and look back on just what happened over the course of our “500 days”. We don’t just see the bad times or just the good, it’s good peppered with bad (or vice versa!).
Tom’s a perfectly wonderful guy and his idea of love seems very grandiose and he ascribes an almost cosmic meaning to every moment between he and Summer. He’s looking for a certain girl and (he believes) Summer is the one. The problem for Tom is that Summer does not believe in love. She’s seen it go wrong and she doesn’t “get it.” Summer’s up front about that from the beginning. She doesn’t want anything serious. She doesn’t want a boyfriend. Tom lets this go in one ear and out the other. He believes he can change her. How, if they get along so well, are attracted to one another, and neither one wants anyone else, can Summer possibly NOT want a relationship? Tom’s refusal to face reality will be his undoing. Thus the film proceeds through a series of “clips” back and forth form their present to their past and back again.
There are lovely little moments throughout the movie that are so much fun, you forget that “this is not a love story.” There’s even an imaginary dance sequence to Hall and Oats that is too priceless and surprising to describe here. You’ll need to see it for yourself!
In the end, (500) Days of Summer (absurd punctuation at the beginning of that film title, isn’t it? That’s what I thought, too. Who begins a title WITH the punctuation?) isn’t truly a love story in that it isn’t about love conquering all. It is about how two people meet, get along, but ultimately are not “the one” for each other and how there just might be a reason for that. Zooey Deschanel is delightful (when isn’t she? I mean, this is the girl who even made a rather abysmal Yes, Man enjoyable to sit through) in her role as Summer and Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays the hapless, lovesick Tom with aplomb not characteristic of the role he inhabits. It’s a funny, witty, appealing and truly gratifying movie-going experience. Highly recommended (in fact, my husband liked this one more than Away We Go–but I was so enamoured of that one, I don’t know if I can say the same).
Also, a word about the soundtrack: AMAZING. I love it. Indie films are constantly introducing me to music artists I might never before have listened to. Check it out!
